Welcome to the Executive Functioning at Home Series, where we are taking a closer look at how executive functioning applies in a personal living environment and ways we can work on related skills. 

In Part 1 we discussed some ways that different categories of executive functioning skills can apply in a home setting, and in Part 2 we will be discussing some strategies for building a supportive environment in which we can safely work on our executive functioning skills and also have access to the tools and resources we need.

While executive functioning is ubiquitous in everything we do, and we are always practicing executive functioning whether we are confident in our abilities or not, the environment we are in can have a huge impact on our success and how much time and energy we need to spend to complete our necessary tasks. 

When it comes to practicing executive functioning skills, a safe, supportive environment is a must. Yet even beyond the framework of practice, a supportive environment also recognizes the differences in the way people navigate their own executive functioning strengths, challenges, and preferences. 

A supportive environment does not force everyone in it to adhere to one specific executive functioning strategy. A supportive environment is one in which we feel safe doing our best to pursue our goals using our executive functioning skills based on the resources and information available to us. 

But what forms could that support take? What habits should we avoid? The answer might depend on what executive functioning skill we are talking about! So let’s dive in and take a closer look.

Organization can be a contentious topic in many living spaces, especially if there are differences between how much and the way each household member engages in organizational tasks. 

It can be a frustrating double bind for those who highly value organization, as they may feel both an obligation to “bridge the gap” and concern that they are forcing their way of doing things on other household members. One strategy for building a supportive organizational environment is to leave the door open to feedback and discussions for potential changes. 

That is not to say you must change your system every time that someone asks you to, but rather if someone you are living with expresses a reasonable concern about how your method of organization works with their executive functioning that it’s possible and reasonable to reexamine whether the current organizational system could be adjusted to fit that need.

Big picture planning can be a challenging part of any executive functioning system, especially when it is a shared household system. 

What do we need to work on collectively? What can we plan as individuals? How much should we even be planning in the first place? A great starting point for building a supportive planning environment is to include everyone in the planning process. Of course, not everyone is interested in extensive planning, but we can make a case for why planning specific things as a group is important and ensure everyone knows they always have the opportunity to offer input. 

Alternately, creating a supportive environment for someone working on their own planning might entail things like offering to help with the organizational details if needed, talking through different options, and sometimes just offering reassurance!

Task initiation is a breeze for some people and a difficult challenge for others. In our living spaces, task initiation can be especially stressful because it may tie to a daily routine or schedule that is not flexible enough to accommodate long breaks between tasks. 

One way to offer support to someone struggling with task initiation is to work on jumpstart strategies together. With permission from the person you are supporting, you can initiate the task initiation process when the time is right and see if a given strategy is more effective in getting going more quickly. 

It is crucial to note here that there’s one solution when it comes to task initiation challenges, and part of creating a supportive environment is discarding strategies that don’t work rather than trying to force them. 

It’s always worth remembering that these skills are a process and not a simple one step solution, and that it’s also understandable to feel frustrated when various strategies just don’t seem to work. 

If you are feeling that frustration it is OK to step back and take a break until everyone is ready to jump back in with something new! 

In our last post, we described meta-cognition as a sort of “big big picture,” or an examination of the ways all of our different types of executive functioning skills work together. 

But how exactly do we support such big picture thinking? If you are already on the same page with the person you are supporting about the importance of a supportive executive functioning environment, the easiest thing you can do is regularly check in! 

Rather than hone in exclusively on measurable metrics (more on that later!) we can also talk about how things feel like they are going and some different types of executive functioning strategies might be in conflict. Encouraging the discussion is the first and most important step!

Working memory is one category of executive functioning skill where we sometimes unfairly expect people to focus on the memory part without recognizing all the different tools we have to help ourselves remember. 

If a person you are supporting in your living space faces challenges navigating tasks when it comes to working memory, one way to build a supportive environment is to offer and embrace these tools for as long as they are helpful! 

Whether it’s a list of steps associated with a task, signs, a video, or any other number of reminders that can help make completing a task easier, welcoming these tools when they are needed can go a long way toward both destigmatizing having trouble remembering sometimes and help with the most important thing - getting our tasks done!

Adaptable thinking is a tricky skill to master in part because it can be so hard to process unexpected setbacks or changes! 

One way we can create a supportive environment around adaptable thinking is to adopt an attitude of embracing mistakes and unexpected changes as a part of life and something we can always manage. 

That’s not to say we’ll never be frustrated with a mistake - we are only human after all! But moving away from an environment where every mistake or setback feels catastrophic makes it that much easier to think proactively about alternative strategies and solutions.

The most helpful way to support self-regulation at home is to identify self-regulation needs for a given individual, ways to meet those needs, and ensuring access to those resources at the time they are needed. 

Some examples of self-regulation tools might include decompression spaces, fidget toys, headphones, sunglasses, a weighted blanket, dark shades, limiting overhead lighting, ensuring the availability of comfort foods, built-in breaks in a schedule, social stories, and repeatable calming phrases.

Time management isn’t always as simple as it appears on the surface. Just because we plan for something to happen in an hour doesn’t mean it will always happen in an hour, but we still have the rest of our schedule to attend to! 

Creating a supportive environment around time management necessarily includes ensuring awareness of the time and safety valves for when we under or overestimate the time a given task or activity will take. 

For example, ranking the priority of various tasks throughout the day can offer some direction as to what to do if an important activity is taking much longer than expected. With safety and awareness of the time we are taking, we can more accurately judge how long a given task will take us in the future as we continue to master that skill!

One challenge of supporting self-monitoring as a unit is that expectations can vary between people as to what is important and what should be a priority. When it comes to self-monitoring, a great way to offer support is to work through ways we can tangibly measure our progress toward a given goal, and crucially allow the person we are supporting the space to decide what metrics should be a higher priority. 

Self-monitoring is an ongoing process, so the more comfort level we can build around making it an ongoing conversation that can evolve and change the better we can hone that skill to serve our goals and needs!

Supporting skill-building for a concept as broad as executive functioning can feel like a daunting task, but we hope this post has offered a starting point for the executive functioning areas where you might want to offer more support or refine your approach. 

Beyond the specifics of each category, one of the best ways to be supportive is to focus foremost on skills that everyone involved agrees are worth pursuing rather than trying to do everything all at once! A supportive environment encourages growth but also recognizes that it doesn’t always happen on a specific schedule.

If you have any experiences related to executive functioning at home that you’d like to share then we’d love to hear from you! Just drop us a line at hello@autismgrownup.com and we will be back for Part 3 where we will talk about executive functioning across a day-to-day schedule.